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One thing that keeps me sane and makes me happy about giving students bad grades is the shitty escuses they come up with when they are absent. These range from the non-excuse excuse;
“I have something to do today, I request that you let me leave class”
Sure you can leave, but you getting a 0 fool.
Then you have the pity excuses
“I feel sick, my leg hurts, I need to go hospital to see a doctor. Please let me be absent”
I would give these students the benifit of the doubt. But most of our classes are split, with different foriegn teachers teaching each half. When you ask the other teacher if anyone missed their class they often say yes, and their excuse note reads as follows;
“I feel sick, my arm hurts, I need to go hospital to see a doctor. Please let me be absent”
And the excuses were torn from the same damn piece of paper.
But the excuse that I hate the most is the “weather excuse.” These will be some varitation of the following
“I can’t come to class today. My stomach hurts/my head hurts/My ovaries are sore because it’s too cold/too hot/the barometric pressure dropped a half a degree.”
I don’t give a fuck. I come from the midwest. It’s bloody cold in the winter and burning hot in summer. We have thunderstorms that would tear the roofs off most chinese buildings. In the winter we get so much snow, sometimes you can’t find your house because it’s covered up. The weather changes fast, One hour it’ll be sunny, the next hour it will drop 50 degrees and you have to drive carefully because of the freezing rain.
And we don’t complain, we reveal in the challenges mother nature gives us. We love thunderstorms, hell we chase tornados.
Chinese people on the otherhand are the biggiest pussies about wether i have ever seen, (Californians are a close second). Chinese people will bitch if the tempature is one degree above or below 75, if it is too cloudy, if it is too sunny (or else their beautiful white skin will turn black), If there is a drop of percipatation, if it is too dry, I fit is too humid. If it is too windy, if it is still.
In all these circumstances, Chinese people will bitch. They will not want to go outside. They will bemoan the fact that they live in such a hell like location, and pine away for the oppurtunity to move to a nicer city.
Well, I have news for you. The weather sucks almost everywhere. In fact there are only 6 places on earth with nice weather(see map). One per continent. So suck it up and deal with the weather. Don’t give me some bullshit excuse about how it makes your goddamn tummy hurt.
the red spots are the only places in the world with nice weather. If you live there you are basically a pussy.
UPDATE: Ok, Maybe I was using to broad a brush when I claimed all chinese are pussies about the weather. For example. The pocet sandwhich man outside our school is out their sixteen hours a day, sun, rain or snow. His perservernce in selling delicous pocket sandwhiches is so awe-inspiring that we often wonder if he isn’t some kind of magical cyborg from the future sent back to kill John Conner. But all the generlizations still hold for the vast majority of Urban Chinese that i know.