Hangzhou Lovin’

edit: This posts sucks so I have decided to give you the directors cut version in which I add my internal dialog to the story with as much swears as possible…

Note to self: Must check my SMSs before I send them!*
whatever, I’m way to fucking lazy to ever do that.

For those of you not fully into the “texting” age, (as I like to call it), Cell phones can send short messages to each other which are called SMSs. Most phones now have a predictive text input. How this works is you type the word into your phone by pressing on the key with the appropriate letter on it and the phone will guess which word you typed. Since each key has about 3 letters some key combinations have more than wone word, like 6, 6 is “no” and “on.”
That was boring as shit, all you bitches should buy some cell phones so I don’t have to explain this crap to you!

On to the story. the other day i had a rendevous down by westlake with a chinese girl I met. The date went pretty smoothly, westlake living up to it’s reputation as the romantic spot in China. and I got home about 11.
Hell yeah, I finna get laid!

The girl I was out with messaged me on the phone and asked me if I had MSN messenger and gave me her screenname. I worte back and i thought I said,

“I am getting it soon, I will add you” a
fuck this internet crap, why dosn’t she just come over and we can “watch a DVD”(John knows what I mean, he taught me that damn trick!)

and sent off the message.

About 5 minutes later I get a message from her that says,

“What does “I will bed you mean?”"
Aww shit, this little girl knows what she needs!

I’m a little confused, but I assume she is reading some old fashioned chinese english book, or is trying to drop sublimnal messages. I write back and say that,

“I will bed is an old fashioned way of saying “to make love, to sleep with.” Understand? Who wrote that to you? are you asking me?”
hot damn girl, just say it, I know you want me.

After this there is a pause of about ten minutes and I get another message,

“you are a bad boy, I have my teddy bear to sleep with I don’t need you!”
What the fuck? girl dosn’t even know how bad she does need me

I am rather confused at this point because I never asked her to sleep with me, so I ask her

“where did you see “i will bed you?”"?
stop fucking around, for real!

She quickly responds with,

“you!”
Shit

I finally realised what happened, I forgot to check my message before I sent it. “bed and add” have the same keystrokes.

I tried to write back and explain, but I don’t think this girl will ever really trust me.
fuck, fuck, fuck, why do I always fuck up?

*I apologise that this is the second post about my cell phone in a week. I really am that lame.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 11th, 2003 at 7:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.