Hangzhou Lovin’

So I’m in Shanghai. Seems like a fun town. I’m here with annie taff. It’s pretty strange seeing here in China. She thinks I’ve changed cause I wear a turtle knecked sweater now. We went out to this singles bar last night and annie learned a good lesson about China. Shit tyhat would be stupid in the states is usuially hilarious in China. The singles bar was great. There was a girl in a pink barbarian outfit. Lots of 16 year old expats kids getting drunk and making fools of themselves and lots of chinese men who can’t dance.

Here is a most excellent speech by Robert Byrd

“To contemplate war is to think about the most horrible of human experiences. On this February day, as this nation stands at the brink of battle, every American on some level must be contemplating the horrors of war.

Yet, this Chamber is, for the most part, silent — ominously, dreadfully silent. There is no debate, no discussion, no attempt to lay out for the nation the pros and cons of this particular war. There is nothing.”

Sometimes it’s too easy. So this guy who used to be important last year, comes out of his cave and calls on muslims to defend Iraq from an american invasion. This isn’t really surprising because one of the main goals of 9/11 was to start a war in the arab world where the united states would be pushed out and fundementalisits gain control of the goverment.

So does the Bush administration rethink it’s policy because right now they are giving OBL exactly what he wants? Of course not, they just pretend like this new statemnet shows that there is a link between Al Qeuda and Iraq. Nevermind the fact that in this very statement OBl calls the Ba’athist’s infidels and the fact that this connesction is a result of america’s policy towards Iraq, and therefore cannot be used as a justification for that policy. Come on isn’t this shit easy to see? How can anyone support this war?

If there is one thing I hate it’s being woken up before I want to. Today this chinese guy calls me, at like 7:30 and I have been out late so I’m pretty pissed off. It turns out that it is a wrong number. It’s to early to speak Chinese so i just hang up on him. Of course a minute later he calls back. So I start talking him trying to remember how to say wrong number, but I can’t so our conversation goes like this.

Me: Wei (hello)
him: Wei
pause for a few seconds, I think it’s costumary for me to identify myself.
Him: Ni shi shei (you are who?)
me: Ni shi shei (with emphasis)
him: some chinese name
me wo bu renshi ni (I don’t know you), xi jian (good bye)
I hang up

At least I have learned how to be an asshole in chinese.

Quick review of Hero before I go to bed. This was one of the best propaganda films I have ever seen. I havn’t seen much soviet cinema, but perhaps Gahndi is the only propaganda film that is better than Hero. As a movie itself it was a highly stylised Rashoman clone. Set 2000 years ago, it was a series of flashbacks telling different versions of a plot to kill the emporor of the Qin dynasty. I thought some of the fight scenes looked a little goofy and the wire work was a little over done but over all I thought the movie worked pretty well. I liked how they coordinated the colors of each of the different flashbacks, the whole movie was just really gorgeous. I’ve always been a sucker for expressive cinematagraphy though. I thought the story worked pretty well and didn’t see the twists before they came. All in all an enjoyable film.

But you may be wondering why I called it a propaganda piece. If you havn;t seen the movie you might not want to read this, but it won’t really matter. It’s propaganda because the three main messaqges of the movie were

1. The well been of the state is worth more than one persons life or suffering
2. Fighting the state is a fruitless effort bound to end up in tragedy
3. The greatest thing is to die in service of the state and be procliamed a hero

The movie was about The first emporer of the Qin dynasty. He was the first man to unite China and built the terracota warriors and the the great wall among other things. However he was one brutal MF, he killed countless numbers of peasents in his wars and state projects. From early in his life Moa Zedong was known to praise this emporers deeds. So in the movie it protrays the emporer as a man who is doing what he must to unite China, even if that takes war and brutality. It is still a good thing to have all of china “under heaven”. Furthermore, all the people who fight the emporer die. Even Jet Li the “Hero”. What really surprised me wasn;t jsut the apology for totalitarianism, but the apaology for the brutality of totalitarianism.

I was able to enjoy the movie for what it was. Just cause it’s propaganda dosn”t mean it’s bad art. However, most of my chinese friends said they didn’t like the movie that much. Now this could have been because the fight scenes where over stylised and it was a little slow, it’s no Once open a time in china. I would like to think that they didn;t like it because they could tell it was propaganda aimed at them and that they didn’t like the message. i may be able to view this film objectivily as “art” because it was made in China, but if someone made a movie with similar themes in the US, I don;t think I’d be able to sit through it without swearing to kick the director in the head.

For your enjoyment, a few of the searches that wound up at In Xin Xiang

Sex teacher

Xin monkey King

archer teacher how to have sex

u see hot girls without blocke

Chian sex easy

I went out with some Chinese frineds tonight. It was pretty good but they can’t paty worth shit. We went home around 11 o’clock after having a few beers each. The one thing this did do was put me in a philosphical mood, but it’s fading fast. I think my mind wound through the topics of the dangers of beutiful women, to the sublime atraction of alcohol.

One of my new found friends brought this gorgeous chinese coed (I love that word coed ). They seemed to be good friends, but I found it a bit creepy that this guy knew her cause he is a 28 year old unemplyed computer salesmen, but anyway she was fucking hot. The strange part about it was that no one else said she was beatiful. In america this wouldn’t be strange but in China people tend to say what they think of another persons looks right when that persons leaves. Just today one of my friends told me a story about “the ugliest man she has ever seen” and some of my guy friends tod me one of my female friends is very beautiful, while I would just call her cute.

Come to think of it, though people often tell me that a girl is “very beutiful”, I can’t rember them hearing it about any girls who I’ve thought were just drop dead gorgeous. To me this means two things, either the chinese have a different standard of beuty than I do, or that they tend to define beuty relative to themsleves.

I don’t think the first option i right because most of the girls on TV are pretty hot*, so I think the second option is probably true. Or maybe the chinese just say every girl without a penis growing out of her forehead is pretty. I don’t know, still if they say I am handsome, they should call a spade a apade and call ridiculously fucking gorgeous girls at least pretty.

* But in a wierd way reminiscent of sterotypical scandanvian hotties. They all look very similar and lack a certain sensuality (hehe, I said sensuality). I’ve never been blown away by any scandanvian girls or the sterotypical Chinese beauty.

N. Korea warns of pre-emptive strike

Fuck

The stupid fucking commies are blocking the Nytimes, and most other reliable sources of news, does anybody know why? Usually they only block news sources when there is a big story about China, but nothing important is going on know that I can think of.

So I was forced to turn to MSNBC where I get this horrble peace of journalism, Clean-cut men have fewer strokes, Males who don�t shave every day also have less sex , Which propurts to be a scientific study. As a non clean cut man this wack science is just perpetuating sterotypes that we don’t get laid alot. The main researcher says, “�The association between infrequent shaving and death is probably due to underlying smoking and social factors, but a small hormonal effect may also exist,� Professor Shah Ebrahim. I can’t believe that some university pays this moron to do work. A small hormonal effect? Does he know some secret hormaon whitch is responsible for shaving?

The results of this study are due to the fact that the group of nonshavers includes basically all your loner types; hobos, bums, crazy reclusis and “comic book store guy” types, who of course aren’t getting as much action and aren’t as healthy as the normal population. It dosn’t mean that the average scruffy MF, (ie me) is a unvirile weakling compared to my better shaved counterparts.

Wow, I feel a lot safer now that our goverment is planning a war with Iraq. I’m glad I’m in China I can’t think of a safer place to be, thank god for liberal use of capitol punishment. Though actaully after I look closer at this letter it is from us_citizen@hotmail.com Which might mean it is a hoax, but it sounds like the real thing, and I don’t see the point of any hoax. I guess the state department is low on funding and needs to use free email services.

From: us_citizen@hotmail.com
Subject: PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT - WORLDWIDE CAUTION

This supersedes the Worldwide Caution dated November 20, 2002. It is
being issued to remind U.S. citizens of the need to remain vigilant due
to a heightened threat of terrorist actions that may target civilians,
including the possibility of attacks by non-conventional weapons. It
also reminds American citizens traveling or living overseas to avoid
demonstrations and provides standard preparedness advice. This Worldwide
Caution expires on May 4, 2003. The Department of State reminds Americans
that U.S. citizens and interests are at a heightened risk of terrorist
attacks, including by groups with links to Al- Qaida. Terrorist actions
may include, but are not limited to, suicide operations, assassinations
or kidnappings. While conventional weapons such as explosive devices
pose a more immediate threat in many areas overseas, terrorist use of
non-conventional weapons, including chemical or biological agents must be
considered a growing threat. These individuals and groups have proved
that they do not distinguish between official and civilian targets.
Because security and security awareness have been elevated within the
United States, terrorists may target U.S. interests overseas. Private
Americans should remain vigilant with regard to their personal security and
exercise caution. Attacks on places of worship and schools, and the
murders of private American citizens and other westerners, demonstrate that
as security is increased at official U.S. facilities, terrorists and
their sympathizers will seek softer targets. These may include facilities
where Americans or possibly other foreigners are generally known to
congregate or visit, such as residential areas, clubs, restaurants, places
of worship, schools, hotels, outdoor recreation events or resorts and
beaches. Americans should increase their security awareness when they
are at such locations, avoid them, or switch to other locations where
Americans in large numbers generally do not congregate. There is a
possibility that American citizens may be targeted for kidnapping or
assassination. Demonstrations in many parts of the world may have an anti-
American character. Even demonstrations intended to be peaceful can turn
into confrontational situations and possibly escalate into violence. U.S.
citizens traveling or residing abroad should avoid demonstrations and
take commonsense precautions. American citizens residing overseas should
follow the standard emergency preparedness advice found on the
Department’s web site at: http://travel.state.gov. A summary of the principal
points follows: –Keep vital documents such as passports, birth and
marriage records, medical, school, insurance and bank records in one
readily accessible location. Keep copies of documents in a different secure
place. –Ensure that passports and visas are valid and that you are
registered with the U.S. embassy/consulate. Immediate family members who
are not U.S. citizens or resident aliens (”green card” holders) should
keep U.S. visas current, and apply for visas as far in advance of travel
as possible. –Make or update a complete inventory of your household
effects. –If you reside in a region where political unrest, street
demonstrations or other temporary disruptions are common, maintain an
adequate supply of food, water, and necessary medications in your home. Keep
your car in good working order with a full tank of gas. U.S. Government
facilities worldwide remain at a heightened state of alert. These
facilities may temporarily close or suspend public services from time to
time for security reasons. In those instances, U.S. embassies and
consulates will make every effort to provide emergency services to American
citizens. Americans are urged to monitor the local news and maintain
contact with the nearest American embassy or consulate. As the Department
continues to develop information on any potential security threats to
Americans overseas, it shares credible threat information through its
Consular Information Program documents, available on the Internet at
HTTP://TRAVEL.STATE.GOV.

Alright, here what to think about Iraq. Sure there in material breach of the UN resolution, but that dosn’t mean we need to go to war. Saddam is not a threat and is even less of a threat with inspectors in the country. There are many things we can do besides a full scale invasion to contain Iraq. So don’t let the administration try to sift the argument from if saddam is complying with the UN resolution or not, but keep thinking about if a large scale invasion is the way to solve the problem. But we’ll be off to war in a coupel more weeks, so hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.