Hangzhou Lovin’

Damn I’m a this internet cafe and they are charging me way to much for it. I should just look for a whole in the wall place like the chinese use, but I heard they cracked down on the internet cafes cause all these people died in fire, that and all the porn on the internet.

Beijing is nice. Lots of stories to tell mostly about how retarded I am.Since you read this site you probably already know that. I’m spending all my time with my parent’s friend’s chinse girlfriend’s friend’s family here in Beijing. When I came here I thought I was just going to go out and maybe see them for dinner. But when I got here i found out that they had my whole trip p[lanned. They even switched the hotel I was staying in without even asking and are now paying for everything. I feel kind of bad, but I think they would be offended if I rfused and as I told you in another post I realised how little money I am making here. I would be pissed off but they helped out so much when I was retarded and didn’t bring my residence card with me to beijing, so I like them.

Yesterday I was with my parent’s friend’s chinse girlfriend’s friend’s niece. She was a cool girl but I couldn’t really get a read on what kind of girl she was. For one thing she spoke english with an odd intonation so I could never tell if she was serious or not. At the end of the night we went out to the bars an I think that she wants top party. But then she tells me that my parent’s friend’s chinse girlfriend’s friend’s niece’s aunt, has said that I sould only stay out until 10:00. I’m like what the fuck thats ridiculous. She insists that she has to keep her word. Using my charms I am able to keep her out until about 11 but then she says wehas to go home. She takes me home I ask her up for a nightcap, which she declines (sigh).

Then I’ m still a little buzzed, so I decide to go back to the bar. So I go back to Sanlitun which is the big bar street. I see this little place called “Jazz cafe”, cool maybe I will hear some live music. I go in and there is no live music, just five chinese people sitting at the bar. I need to take a piss so I rush to the bathroom. I didn’t want to leave without buying something after using their facilities, so I sat down for an expensive heinekin. Then the barmaid calls me shaui, and it turns out that she is from XinXiang too.; So we have this connection. We start playing this drinking game with dice an I’m having a good time. Then it gets late and people start to leave. I start talking to this onglain chick, maybe 30, who speaks good english. I don’t think she was a prostitute because she wasn’t very good looking, but her actions that night would suggest otherwise. She says she knows a place with cheaper beer. I say sure I’ll go. We leave the bar and she starts telling me to watch out for the chinese because they are very tricky. And she grabs my arm and we walk t this other bar. True to her word, the bnar is pretty nice and they serve cheap beer. There are some black guys there and she says she dosn’t trust them either.

Then we leave there and go to another place. By now it’s like 2:30 and I have to get up early tommorow and go to the greatwall (the coolest thing I’ve seen in China). So we go to this club but they want us to pay cover, ever one is leaving so that seems like a stupid idea. then I say I am ghoing home and the bitch asks me for 100 qaui for the ride home! And she gets very angrey because I don’t want to take her back to my hotel room. i just jump in a cab and wave good bye. The cabbie looks at the girl, starts laughing and says something in chinese which I didn’t understand but I think transalates to stupid fat bitch.

I will leave for Beijing soon, so wich me luck and email me if you are there.

OK, quick funny story, I went to ZhengZhou with this old artist guy to see this exibition of modern chinese art. The art was pretty good. Very romantic, all the men were rugged and heroic and the ladies were slender and elegant, but they had a certain sexuality that I thought was very modern. But we didn’t stay at the show for a long time bcause their was some kind of wierd feud going on between the traditional chinese painters and the oil painters. My friend was an oil painter so we had to quickly leave the exibition.

That left lots of time for shopping. First we went to McDonalds, which was kind of a nice american thing to do on chirstmas day, and I ate way to much because nobody else wanted to finish their food. Then we went shopping. My friends wife wanted to buy me a present, and since I was wearing some particularly shabby pants that day she offered to buy me new pants. Now, I hardly ever refuse a gift espiecially being the poor teacher that I am so I was like allright some new pants. Then we go to the store and the sales lady measures me, because I have no idea whatsize I am in cm. Then she goes around the store looking for my size. Now here’s the funny part, (sorry not that funny), they didn’t have any pants my size. In amreica I am not fat, I have a proto beer belly which I am quite proud of, but I think most americans would call me skinny. So I thought it was hilarious that they didn’t have any clothes my size. I started going around the place saying “wo shi tai pang”

I am too fat.

“I am reminded myself that I should write about it soon.”

What the fuck is wrong with me? How can I teach english with a straight face?

My crazy rant about Korea wasn’t so off base. They are now making more nuclear weapons. i think Kim Il Jung is way crazier than Saddam, but we should definitly not go to war unless there is an immenient nuclear strike planed. Fuck, Korea scraes the shit out of me these days.

Today is turning out to be pretty good. It snowed last night, when I looked outside I was put in a nice christmas mood. Tan I couldn’t think of anything else to teach my class this morning so we just sang christmas songs. Then I got the niecest christmas present, my afternoon class was canceled. ke ai, Well this post is entirely to cheery, I should probably use this extra time to wrok on my exam, but I won’t, I wish I hadn’t learned to be such a good procastinator in college…

I’m not really homesick for chrsitms but the snow is making it a little worse. There is almost to many peopl ehere asking if I am home sick. So being the contray bastard that I am, i am becoming militantly anti homesick when ever chinese people ask me about it. Went to Zheng Zhou this weekend I am reminded myself that I should write about it soon.

Edit: I read this post again and it is ridicoulsy incohernet, just go to the article that I linked to. and don’t bother reading the post

Despite all the potential problems that can come out of Iraq, I think that Bush has potentially already caused a lot more damage from his dealing with the Korean situation. Read about it here

Not that the koreans are much better than bush. The north is lead by someone who is insane at least to a Mao Zedong level and the south seems to think that the north will never attack them and that the american military presence there is just there so that american soldiers will have an excuse to hook up with korean girls. The whole situation is messed up and very scary. A second korean war is horrible to imagine, much worse than a war in Iraq.

This statement by the new south korean pres Roh, makes no sense

“, “If the United States and North Korea start a fight, we should dissuade them.”

The americans would be there to protect the south koreans. You don’t mediate between your assaliants and your body gaurd. As much as would like America to pull out of korea and stop spending so much money there, the fact is that NL has one of the largest armies in the world and it has shown its;ef to be very willing to use that army as a political tool. American military presence in south korea is a neccessity. At the same time it would be good if south koreans had more input into talks with north korea.

Intersting artile form the atlantic unbound, it argues that the way to win future elections is to get the nonvoters to vote (duh). The most intersting thing I thought was that he said that the main reason people don’t vote is becasue they don’t have the time. Why not make election day a national holiday? That would make everybody happy.

Besides the fact that blogger is a bitch anybody have any gursses as to why I havn’t ben posting recenttly? Maybe I have something more important to do? wink wink, nudge nudge

Anyway just went to the bar over at the big university by my house and while I was watching all the fun, I starting thinking about american cultural dominence over youth cutlure. The only thing asian they did tonight was kareeokee. Besides that they had a band that dressed in hip hop style and played post punk pop (They did have a nice heavy metal style song that I think was titled “this world is horrible.” The bassist was headbnging and then he jumped on the ground like a crazy man. But instead of joining in an forming a mosh pit the audience just claped, it was kind of disapointing). The other thing they had was dance music that was filled with american profanities, (”We want some pussy” and “your mother looks like a bitch” are two that immiediatly come to mind). The chinese sure do have wierd taste in dance music. Very strange and jarring sounds in it, a big contrast to their taste in pop music….

Anyway Xin Xiang looks wierd at night when it’s cold and you walk home by yourself a litle tipsy. The streets are strangley wide and large construction projects loom out of the mist like something out of blade runner….

Today is an auspicious day in the history of in Xin Xiang. Someone who was searching for porn (”Horney drunk girls”) was instead taken to this site. Man I love sitemeter.

Watched some tv tonight which I rarely do and came up with some random observations.
1. Why do the news anchors on CCTV 9 (the english channel) change their hair every week? The hottest anchor has had the worst hair lately. First she had this quasi nappy look going, but it looked like she paid a lot for it. Now she has htis wierd wavy shit that looks like a wig. Chinese girls have pretty hair why can’t they leave it alone. it looks like shit when they try to make it look like european hair. Oh yeah, this goes for guys to. The sports guy on CCTV nine also died his hair an unnatural purple color.
2.The people who write the sportscasters material must get their lines out of 1001 things sportcasters say. I’ve never heard so many poorly used cliches.
3. The craptaculars, big shows with lots of singing and dancing that are on 24 hours a day, must be even worse if you understand Chinese. One of my freinds was over and he was translating for me. The songs had two themes; China is great (”China my hometown”) and personnel empowerment (”strive for your best”).
4. The chinese are good at modern dance. I think the madern dance is the worst artform ever.
5. Gender issues are fucked up in china (while I guess they are kinda fucked up everywhere). That big girl singer who is very popular was in the craptacular and she couln’t even sing in key. People say she is very talented, but I think the chinese have a wierd thing for big lesbian singers. I have this one girl student who is kind of big and very butch. At every party she gets up and sings a song and everybody goes wild. Not saying its wrong, just f’d up.